Honour Amongst Thieves 3 – Krrsh’s version

The logs I make of each session are, as readers of this blog may have spotted, wildly wearying walls of text which I need for myself – it avoids me calling NPCs by varying names every week! – but I suspect make hard going for the players. So I started writing NPCs’ versions of events. This lets me add a bit of comedy, condense the delivery a bit (usually, and not always by much!), and give an insight into the mindset of these alien NPCs. They also serve as sneaky revision.

This was the first version – Krrsh’s journal – and was still a bit rough (geddit?)

Krrsh’s Official, Unofficial, Emotionally True Log of Amazing Things That Happened

I didn’t want to go to Theev because people there don’t like me and also I owe some of them money. BUT—we landed anyway. It’s the kind of place where everyone looks like they’re halfway through stabbing someone, which I respect.

Then people tried to steal our ship. Which is MY ship. Well, our ship. But mostly mine, at least soon.

Anyway, we did shoot them with stunners, which are less fun than real guns but don’t annoy the Widows as much, which was smart because they came in, made us all stand in a line, and shot the guys with real guns in the head. Very tidy. Very Theev.

While everyone else was out being grumpy and stabbing things, I found out TIZNEE ZAZZLE released her new single: “Look at You Now.”

I played it for maybe an hour or a bit more. SHARYL DIDN’T LIKE IT. I suspect he cried a bit. Not because it’s bad, obviously—it’s just that he knows he isn’t ready yet to understand.

I explained this to him using my interpretation of the third chorus and my emotional dance.

I think he gets it now.

Then Admiral Darokyn wants to have dinner with us. He probably heard about my musical career (I don’t have one yet, but I’ve workshopped some lyrics).

Anyway, Tim became captain because he knows how boats work in theory. I think this was an injustice, but I was busy putting sequins on my old jacket to wear to dinner so missed the discussion.

Patrick Steward, our robot butler, was horrified. He said I looked like a “magnet that fell into a bin of bottle caps.” Rude. I’ve also not been told exactly where or at what time we’re having dinner with the Admiral, yet. He must be keeping it a secret for security reasons.

My outfit meant that the rest went to a tailor and bought clothes that made them look like rich people in a drama about Vilani court trials. Tim looked like a war criminal at a wedding. I loved it.

So then we, sort of including me although I was at the ship, met this guy Petyr Vallis, who I met before and looks like someone who only eats grey food and yells at clouds. But he was also kind of smart and said we could join his pirate club.

His pirate club ONLY attacks Aslan ships. Which is neat, because I also don’t like Aslan. They call me “ragskin” and one time made me wear a collar. (Long story. Don’t ask.) They lack my delicate musical sensitivies.

We didn’t join the pirate club so far. But no loss because last time I ate one of his meat rolls. It was stringy. Two stars.

So while I was explaining music to Sharyl my friends were in a bar and met these two uplifts – Vas (big gorilla man, looks like a fridge with a bad attitude) and Goorp (chimpanzee engineer who seems like she runs on chaos batteries).

They joined the crew after Deanna promised them we’d all be rich and powerful and own ships and possibly a moon. That was awesome. I would very much like a moon.

Eric saved this poor lady named Vi Lon, who was being harassed by some nasty pimp-types with knives and monofilament implants. We all helped out, in our ways. Tim chopped a lady’s hand. Goorp jumped on someone like a caffeinated cannonball. It was art.

The others couldn’t find me to bring me along but they stayed at the Royal Hotel. It had windows. Real ones you actually see out of. Not virtual ones with fungus smell.

At breakfast, two Widows came in, made a hole in the wall, sniped a guy in the street, and patched the hole like it was just a spill in aisle four. The hotel gave us a 20% discount for “inconvenience.” I say “us” but the party were so busy that they sent my invitation to the wrong place and I didn’t get it.

After Vi Lon helped out in some boring paperworky way, Deanna found Miria Silverhand on camera. (Not in real life though. She’s very good at being absent.)

We tracked her movements and found her ship—a broken-down A2 Free Trader in a junkyard.

I hope she’s dead. Or turned into a cyborg. Or both. That would be cool.

Crew Ranking by Krrsh (Totally Accurate)

Name	Title	Notes
Krrsh	Captain of Emotions	Most helpful. Most musically gifted. Most loyal.
Tim	Technical Captain	Pretty good. May be a robot.
Deanna	Deal Captain	Scary. Smart. Beautiful. Terrifying. I trust her.
Eric	Captain of Feelings	Total soft centre. Punches bad people.
Vas	Pilot Gorilla	Deep voice. Could snap me like celery. Good vibes.
Goorp	Engineer Gremlin	Loud. Fast. Excellent. Might explode someday.
Vi Lon	Sad Admin Girl	Tougher than she looks. Needs more porridge imho.
Patrick Steward	Fancy Toaster	Mean but makes good baths. Hates sequins.