Krrsh’s Chronicles of Ascendance: I Harness the Power of the Atom
Location: Acrid Orbit (Smells like victory and burnt ozone)
Mood: Radioactively Magnificent
They tried to put me at the helm. Can you believe it? Timaeus looked at me with his human face and I knew that he was saying, “Krrsh, we need your evasive maneuvers.”
I looked him in the eye – well, I looked at his chin, which is very noble, I suppose – and I said, “Nay, my Captain. Today the pack does not dodge. Today the pack bites.” At least, I remember it being something like that.
I marched to the Dorsal Turret. I strapped in. The Particle Beam requires a touch of finesse, a soul of fire. It is not a weapon for droids. It is a weapon for an artist.
And then: The S-4.
A System Defence Boat. Ugly thing. Looked like a flying brick designed by an accountant. It thought it could stop us. It thought its armour was strong. Which, technically, is entirely true.
It did not account for Krrsh.
I didn’t just fire the beam. I played it.
HMMMM-CRACK!
First shot: Shields flared blue. Beautiful colour.
HMMMM-CRACK!
Second shot: Direct hit on their port maneuver drive. I saw the armour boil off. It looked like soup.
HMMMM-CRACK!
Third shot: Right down the throat. I imagine the PRQ captain spilled his coffee as he realised the rumours were true: Krrsh was here!
The vibration of the P-Beam… it travels up your spine and shakes your very teeth. It is the best feeling in the universe, second only to a really good belly rub. I was screaming. The crew said I was “howling incoherently,” but it was actually a very specific Vargr war-chant about crushing enemies and eating their food.
The S-4 is ours now. It’s floating there, smoking gently. A prize.
I overheard the crew discussing names for the captured vessel. They were suggesting boring things like The Liberator or Acrid’s Hope. I stayed silent, smiling my mysterious smile. Because we all know the truth. You don’t watch a warrior single-handedly dissect a warship with a beam of pure ions and not name the ship after him.
They are just being shy about it. They want to surprise me.
Welcome to the fleet, His Drinaxian Majesty’s Ship Warlord Krrsh.
Filed by Krrsh, Gunner-King of Acrid.
P.S. The ozone smell stuck to my fur. I have decided not to wash. It intimidates the droids.
Leave a Reply